If you are in the middle of a divorce and you are considering mediation, it can be difficult to understand what exactly is going to happen. After all, you want to be sure that your rights are not violated and you are able to receive exactly what you want, or close to what you want from the divorce. Instead of believing that going to court is the better option for you, you must write off these four myths about mediation that will put your mind back at ease about the process:
One Spouse Will Have More Control Over the Other: One belief is that the spouse who talks more and exhibits more controlling behavior will have more influence over the mediator. However, a mediator is trained to notice this behavior. If the mediator takes note that one spouse is trying to control the situation, he or she will call a break or cancel the mediation altogether, insisting that the couple go to court instead.
Mediation Makes the Divorce Process Longer: The problem with this myth is that it leads people to believe that the court process will make the divorce shorter when, in fact, this is not the case. Court almost always takes longer than mediation since most of the time, couples involved in a court divorce have arguments that make it more difficult for a judge to come to a decision.
In mediation, the couple works together to come to arrangements that are agreeable and there is no judge there that will be the ultimate decision maker. This can make the decision process much faster, so long as the couple getting the divorce can work alongside the mediator and attorneys to make agreeable arrangements involving custody, division of property, and more.
Lawyers Can't Attend Mediation: Lawyers can attend mediation with their client, which means that you are not going to have your rights violated. Your lawyer will be there to ensure that any and all paperwork signed will have arrangements that you have agreed upon. If there are any problems with the documents, your lawyer will point it out and have your spouse's attorney make the changes to ensure that you are getting what you have verbally agreed upon with your spouse.
Mediator Decides What's Fair: You have to remember that the mediator is not a judge. The mediator's job is not to decide and agree upon what is fair. They are simply there to help the couple come to agreements without getting into arguments about it. If an argument comes to play, the mediator will make suggestions or ask for a break.
By understanding these four myths, you can be more prepared for the process and understand what is really going to happen in mediation. This can help make you feel more comfortable about the process. (For more information, contact Deborah L Kenney Attorney At Law)